Are y'all still there?

I am just reading some of the blogs that were posted and reading the comments that have been linked to them. I hope y'all are still there bc honestly I need this blog and y'all's support more than ever. Please spread the word that I am on and y'all will be hearing a lot from me. It has been such a hard journey and at times I did feel very alone...I always heard about how much support I had out there/ but now for the first time I can see with my own two eyes and I can actually comprehend that there was always someone out there when I needed someone the most. I struggled alot and I still do struggle with my post traumatic stress disorder...so I want everyone to understand that it wasn't that I didn't want visitors or that I didn 't want to communicate, I was simply overwhelmed by everything and ANYTHING...there was a period of time where I would have a suffocating feeling if there were more than 3 people in the room. It was hard enough to deal with all the doctors, nurses, therapists and all of the BOBS in between...that had to be in there to care for me...I just was terrified of adding anyone else into the mix. But for the majority of the time I was far too ill to have visitors. For the longest time no one could enter the room I was in without sc rubbing down and being concealed in paper gowns, breathing mask, and hair net of some sort. It was intense to say the least. But y'all please understand that I was not in any position to have visitors for many other complicated reasons. I was burned badly on over 50% of my body, so try to imagine the pain I was in as my skin tore and fell apart...then there were the many skin infections that kept laid up in a hospital bed basically naked with open wounds and tubes adorning my crispy skin. Not a pretty picture. But I am very willing and eager to share with yall some of the most intimate details of this nightmarish period of my life. I need y'all's support now more than ever bc you can only imagine the discomfort I am feeling now as I am becoming more aware of everything that has happaned and I am taking a chance by reaching out to y'all/ Totally out of my comfort zone, but as with all things in my recovery with pain comes progress. So if anyone is still there please respond...ask questions or whatever it is that you want to do...i just need you.

Last night I came across a journal that my family kept while I was in a coma. And I couldn't help but sob. The pain in my mom's words as she wrote to me as if she were talking to me. She showed no loss of faith and repeatedly asked me to keep fighting and to be strong, because she needed me to. If I would just stay strong so would she. It inspired me to start reading some of the emails that friends, family and strangers wrote me from around the same time as the journal. I started off with tears fresh in my eyes from reading the pain stricken thoughts of my family, and it just flooded from there! It was hard enough to read thoughts of someone who never doubted my survival ( MY MOM), but to read the words of so many friends and loved ones who were unsure of how the situation would turn out. I'm not really sure what it actually was that triggered a huge awakening in me: I was reading letters from friends trying to say goodbye. Talk about a rude awakening...I mean I always had some kind of clue that I was sick and not doing well but actually being so ill kept me from being coherent of the situation I had been in. But right now I am at a point in my recovery ( a very infant point) where I am aware  of things that I hadn't been for the last two and a half years. Needless to say I am still very overwhelmed by this epiphany but I want to use it for my benefit. I want to reach out to all of you who reached out to me during the most painful and turbulent time in my life...it's a great depiction of  you (my friends) and your ability to step up during a horrific time. I cannot express how truly grateful I am to have had the support that y'all have showered me with. I am remorseful from the bottom of my heart that it has taken so long to get me to reach out to y'all.But please understand I have been fighting every day for the last 30months. But I believe I am here today because y'all's  thoughtful words and encouraging prayers! Because of all of you I am here today...I may be burned and scarred but I have never felt so complete on the inside. Each day I wake up I am thankful for the opportunity to be on this planet one more day. And I am so blessed to be able to have just even one more minute with my family.


**I love you mom! Your entries in the journal really moved me. I could feel the pain you were feeling as you scribbled that ink on those beautiful pages. You never gave up on me...not one time did you jot a word of doubt. I am so thankful God gave me back to you and that I have gotten to bond with you on a level I never knew was possible. You take exceptional care of me...literally inside and out. I love you with my entire being and  know that you saved my life countless times during  this road to recovery. But everything has been worth the fight...thank you Mama I love you!

Name of lady who dialed 911!

Does anyone know the name of the lady who called 911 the night of my wreck? I am looking for a way to find out or contact her! Please help!

Hi everyone! This is Jenny for the first time

Hi everyone! This is Jenny Ryan. I just took over the blog that Lindsey started for me after my wreck. I will be checking in and keeping everyone posted on my current condition and with any progress in my recovery! Thank you everyone for y'all's support throughout this whole thing! I want to thank Lindsey for starting the blog and keeping everyone up to date with my condition! So Howdy YALL!

PS. This is the first time I have accessed this account and I will do my best to respond to all of your comments! The first time I saw over a year ago, but I have yet to read any of  the posts. After reading a bunch of emails sent to me during the first hospital stay which inspired me to communicate with all of you.