my angel

The last time I was on here was around 3/2012 it was difficult to read about me ...My survival& Recovery.I was overwhelmed and emotionally drained but felt very loved.So this isDebi ryan I wrote that sentence because that is how she felt and was not able to get back on this blog but I today gained access to it!I want to get Jennys story out to others in my heart she was a victim of a horrific accident ,but became the most beautiful survivor.She was the kindess, sweet ,loving women with so much knowledge and so much to offer! In the early post a lot was interpreted by 3rd hand news ,so naturally it was not accurate it was one person view with limted information.I have some things planed for her BRITHDAY, and iam going to post about it soon and hopfully all will pass &share the info.till tomorrow.

Are y'all still there?

I am just reading some of the blogs that were posted and reading the comments that have been linked to them. I hope y'all are still there bc honestly I need this blog and y'all's support more than ever. Please spread the word that I am on and y'all will be hearing a lot from me. It has been such a hard journey and at times I did feel very alone...I always heard about how much support I had out there/ but now for the first time I can see with my own two eyes and I can actually comprehend that there was always someone out there when I needed someone the most. I struggled alot and I still do struggle with my post traumatic stress disorder...so I want everyone to understand that it wasn't that I didn't want visitors or that I didn 't want to communicate, I was simply overwhelmed by everything and ANYTHING...there was a period of time where I would have a suffocating feeling if there were more than 3 people in the room. It was hard enough to deal with all the doctors, nurses, therapists and all of the BOBS in between...that had to be in there to care for me...I just was terrified of adding anyone else into the mix. But for the majority of the time I was far too ill to have visitors. For the longest time no one could enter the room I was in without sc rubbing down and being concealed in paper gowns, breathing mask, and hair net of some sort. It was intense to say the least. But y'all please understand that I was not in any position to have visitors for many other complicated reasons. I was burned badly on over 50% of my body, so try to imagine the pain I was in as my skin tore and fell apart...then there were the many skin infections that kept laid up in a hospital bed basically naked with open wounds and tubes adorning my crispy skin. Not a pretty picture. But I am very willing and eager to share with yall some of the most intimate details of this nightmarish period of my life. I need y'all's support now more than ever bc you can only imagine the discomfort I am feeling now as I am becoming more aware of everything that has happaned and I am taking a chance by reaching out to y'all/ Totally out of my comfort zone, but as with all things in my recovery with pain comes progress. So if anyone is still there please respond...ask questions or whatever it is that you want to do...i just need you.

Last night I came across a journal that my family kept while I was in a coma. And I couldn't help but sob. The pain in my mom's words as she wrote to me as if she were talking to me. She showed no loss of faith and repeatedly asked me to keep fighting and to be strong, because she needed me to. If I would just stay strong so would she. It inspired me to start reading some of the emails that friends, family and strangers wrote me from around the same time as the journal. I started off with tears fresh in my eyes from reading the pain stricken thoughts of my family, and it just flooded from there! It was hard enough to read thoughts of someone who never doubted my survival ( MY MOM), but to read the words of so many friends and loved ones who were unsure of how the situation would turn out. I'm not really sure what it actually was that triggered a huge awakening in me: I was reading letters from friends trying to say goodbye. Talk about a rude awakening...I mean I always had some kind of clue that I was sick and not doing well but actually being so ill kept me from being coherent of the situation I had been in. But right now I am at a point in my recovery ( a very infant point) where I am aware  of things that I hadn't been for the last two and a half years. Needless to say I am still very overwhelmed by this epiphany but I want to use it for my benefit. I want to reach out to all of you who reached out to me during the most painful and turbulent time in my life...it's a great depiction of  you (my friends) and your ability to step up during a horrific time. I cannot express how truly grateful I am to have had the support that y'all have showered me with. I am remorseful from the bottom of my heart that it has taken so long to get me to reach out to y'all.But please understand I have been fighting every day for the last 30months. But I believe I am here today because y'all's  thoughtful words and encouraging prayers! Because of all of you I am here today...I may be burned and scarred but I have never felt so complete on the inside. Each day I wake up I am thankful for the opportunity to be on this planet one more day. And I am so blessed to be able to have just even one more minute with my family.


**I love you mom! Your entries in the journal really moved me. I could feel the pain you were feeling as you scribbled that ink on those beautiful pages. You never gave up on me...not one time did you jot a word of doubt. I am so thankful God gave me back to you and that I have gotten to bond with you on a level I never knew was possible. You take exceptional care of me...literally inside and out. I love you with my entire being and  know that you saved my life countless times during  this road to recovery. But everything has been worth the fight...thank you Mama I love you!

Name of lady who dialed 911!

Does anyone know the name of the lady who called 911 the night of my wreck? I am looking for a way to find out or contact her! Please help!

Hi everyone! This is Jenny for the first time

Hi everyone! This is Jenny Ryan. I just took over the blog that Lindsey started for me after my wreck. I will be checking in and keeping everyone posted on my current condition and with any progress in my recovery! Thank you everyone for y'all's support throughout this whole thing! I want to thank Lindsey for starting the blog and keeping everyone up to date with my condition! So Howdy YALL!

PS. This is the first time I have accessed this account and I will do my best to respond to all of your comments! The first time I saw over a year ago, but I have yet to read any of  the posts. After reading a bunch of emails sent to me during the first hospital stay which inspired me to communicate with all of you.

The post everyone has waited for.....Jenny's Coming Home

Jenny is coming home! I have waited a very long time to write this post. Monday morning she is to be released. She has had a long journey and has over come so many difficult obstacles. The road ahead is still going to be long, and hard but She is moving along so great with the support of everyone.

Next Saturday we are going to have an open house where everyone can come to the house and visit her. We are still discussing all the details.

Jenny is very excited to be able to come home. She is still walking with the help of a walker. She will also still have her central lines. But she will be home!!!! Jenny's burns are open and sore right now. She is hurting from them. But that is normal.

Jenny is so appreciative of everyones support, prayers, letters, cards, and good energy everyone has sent her. When she is home we are going to sit down and i'm going to type out what she wants everyone to know on here, from her.

I will post the details for Saturday as soon as I know what times are best. Everyone is very excited.

From day one our goal was to have Jenny healthy again back home. It has been 8 months. She is more than ready to come home.

Dear god,
I want to thank you for watching over our Jenny when she needed you the most. You never left her side or let go of her hand through this difficult journey. Thank you for letting everything work out with everyones schedule so that she was never alone in the hospital. Thank you for sending us one of the best surgeons in the world for you to work through. Thank you for steadying his hands every time he touched her body. Thank you for fighting every infection her body absorbed. Thank you getting every family member, and every friend through this emotional roller-coaster. Thank you for giving us the most precious gift, LIFE. Thank you for being such a powerful, healing, merceful god. Thank you for surronding us with love and embrace. And thank you most of all for sending us Steven Jones and giving him the courage and bravery to risk his own life and pull Jenny from her burning car. and for Ann who was so quick to call 911. We thank you for all of this.

getting things ready for jenny to come home

So we've been told that jenny will be coming home soon. I've started getting things ready at the house for her. She has caught a couple infections. They are under control, but need to be gone before she can leave. She will have a nurse come to the house to change her ivs and central lines and bags. She will still be in bed, and be fed through her ivs and things. She is walking a lot more, with the help of a walker of course. Everything else is still the same.

If you haven't called or text her, then do it. She has had visitors. So if you would like to see her then call. She isn't calling people, but if u call she answers. She wants visitors, and enjoys the company. She has her cell phone with her.

Please continue to pray for the infections to go away, and for her healing to continue on schedule.

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update.

Taking Visitors

Jenny is doing really well. She is wanting visitors right now. She doesn't want people to stay for hours because she does get tired easily. This has still been emotional on her so when you see her she doesn't want people to come visit if they are going to be emotional and cry. Trust me I know thats hard. I have been through this all with her and I still get choked up, very easy. So please call her or text her. You can also call her room phone. 602. On Easter talan and her took a picture together. It was very sweet and cute. anyways I just wanted to give everyone a short little update. God is good, all the time!!!!

choaked up

Today I saw jen. I have to confess its been a while. She is doing do good! The whole time I was there I kept getting choaked up because its amazing how far she has come. Physically, mentaly....everything. I cannot express in words how amazed, happy, and suprised by it all! She has come along so fast. Its not been easy but she has done it. She is still not at the finish line but its in sight. All I can say is god is great. I am so proud of her for fighting this whole time. Next month will be 6 months!!!! She has an amazing nurse who has become a good friend. She comes to see jen even if she isn't in jens unit. She is definitely one of my jenny angels.

Jenny is in a new room now. She is in room 602. Please everyone send her some e greetings. And she is decorating her room with actual cards so if you want to send her a card let me know and I will find a way to get it to her.

She has her phone so text her. She isn't crazy about talking on the phone but she would love everyone to text her to keep her busy during the day.

I just want to say how happy I am and proud of her. God has a special plan for her he is absolutely watching over her and guiding her life.

Thank you everyone for the prayers and caring so much. It has helped her recovery.

I love every one of my jennys angels!!!

P.s. jenny is at the memorial hermann in the medical center....the same one she has been at for 6 months. It also says it on many of my other blogs!!

update

I am sorry it has been so long. Jenny doesn't want me to update this all the time anymore. I guess it is bothering her everyone knows everything.

Jenny is doing good. It has been a very long and slow healing process. Her colone was up to seven tears, and has had many infections set in. She has stayed strong and fought through it all. She is an amazingly strong person. Not too long ago we over came a hard obstacle. The skin graphs they have been doing to her colone have finally started sticking. So that means tissue growth has started in that area. That is very very good.

She has started reading everyones cards and letters. She has a cell phone again and is asking everyone to text her your numbers or to email them. You can still send her letters through the hospital by going to memorial herman's website and clicking patients and then e greetings. She is room 670.

Do y'all realize its been almost 6 months. Can y'all imagine how it must feel to sit in the hospital for 6 months and not be able to even get out of bed? Gosh I would go crazy.


I am asking everyone to send her a letter. She is reading them now and this will give her something to do. I don't think she has any clue how many people have been keeping up with how she is doing.

Thank you to all my jennys angels for keeping up with her, and keeping her in your thoughts. Please read the blog before this. Mom has posted a comment to it that she wants people to read.

Thank you to all!

update for all my jennys angels

Jenny has been out of icu for a couple of days now. She had a staff infection that was not responding to antibiotics. They were able to do a skin graph to her colon so that the tissue will hopefully grow and close the tears.

This whole situation has been so hard on jenny. I am worried about her mentally. She still hasn't picked up a mirror or wanted to see anyone. Her anxiety is really bad. John was able to get her in a wheel chair and push her around the hospital for a bit. But he said she was stressed the whole time. She didn't like him talking while pushing her, and I guess was scared people were looking at her. I wish she would let people in. I think it would help her out. She hasn't opened one card, or read one letter. I hurt for her. I know she has been and is going through so much. I can't imagine how she is feeling.

As y'all pray for her physical health, please pray for her mental health. Please pray for her anxiety and that she opens back up to family, friends, and the world again.

back in sticu

Today jenny had surgery. Afterwards her blood pressure was really low and they can't get it up. She has also been running a high fever. So they moved her back to sticu. I will keep everyone updated on her status. I feel for her. She has been through so much. When will she catch a break?

february 8

Its been a while. Sorry. Right now the recovery is very slow and basically all the same stuff. They still can't fix the tears in her Colon. They have a suction draining the stomach wound which is taped and stapled on her stomach which is still leaking out of the sides. The problem with that is its draining down her sides where she is burned and then on her bed under where she lays. So right now the goal is to change her sheets often and try to keep her sides clean. She is getting out of bed to sit in a chair for an hour or two a day. They put her in the first room they had. So she is on a weird floor. I think its like 613 or 618. I am pretty sure its 618. If you send her something make sure its for virginia ryan and I am pretty sure it will get to her. Please continue to send your love. She isn't ready to read it still but one day when she is ready I think our love and support is going to make her stronger. I hope it lifts her to a place where she feels better, supported and peaceful with what has happened. I hope it makes her feel special, loved and feel like god has a plan to use her in a very special way.


Thanks for every ones support.

regular room

Today jenny was moved to a regular room. she will be able to get some rest finally. No more curtains for doors. She will have walls and doors. I know she is happy to be out of icu. I will post her room number as soon as I find out. she still has the tubes in her colon that are draining the bile that leaks out the tears. She has gotten out of the bed a couple of times and sat in a chair. Anyways that is what is going on with jen lately.

january 26 update

Jenny was moved back to shock trauma. She has a staff infection. Her colon still has two tears. Right now their main concern is they can't get the drain that is draining her wound to stop leaking. I know that is a short update but its still all the same emotions everyone is having as before. Jenny is upset a lot. But that is expected.

Please continue to pray for her.

central line

The drs had to take out jennys central line bc it was infected. That was how she was being fed. She is able to eat soft foods until they are able to put it back in. Its almost like a surgery. She has to be asleep for them to put it back in. I am sure they will put it back in the next time she has surgery. Since the night the xray tech made the packing protection come open or whatever you would call what happened, jens meds have been bumped up more. So she is actually comftorable and been able to rest. Before she hadn't slept that much.

Anyways just wanted to let everyone know how jen was doing and what was going on.

an update for y'all

Saturday Jenny had surgery. The drains they had put in to suction both tears in her colon were not working at all. So they went in and actually put the tubes in the tears. They are not suctioning. They are just draining naturally. That is working. Thank goodness. That was the first time in a week that it was working. Well last night someone came in to take an xray of her chest. They have to slip the film under her. Well when they did that she started screaming and saying that something was hurting her. Well turns out that the packing they had over her stomach wound had busted and her wound had broke through the gauss and stuff. So this morning she had emergency surgery to go in and wash her stomach wound out and replace the packing and proctection they had over it. I feel for her. Right after the xray they also came in to change her sheets which didn't help.

Jenny is now running a high fever. It's like 102.5. Which means she has an infection. They are waiting on her blood work to come back to confirm for sure. Poor Jen. I know she is ready for all this to be over. We are all. But on a good note before the packing on her stomach came off they had managed to control her pain. They had finally gotten her pain medicine right where she wasn't hurting and was able to sleep for the first time in a couple days. I hope she isn't in a lot of pain from this and if she was I hope they got it taken care of.

anyways I just wanted to give everyone an update. Just remember since she is back in memorial Hermann you can send her an E greeting again. She still hasn't read ANYTHING anyone has sent her but we are still keeping them for her. She's in room smicu 833. So send her some she is going to know she is loved and supported when she is ready.

emotional toll

I am sorry I have not been updating everyone like I should. I am at my emotional limit. This has taken a toll on me emotionaly, more than I ever would have thought possible. I am the kind of person who can sit and literally think about what's going on for an hour. Just be in a complete daze. Thinking about what's going on. My mind will start to wonder and I start to think about all the possibilities of the future, and then I snap out of it sick to my stomach with all of my finger nails gone. Literally, ask anyone who knows me well. And lately my nails have been bleeding if u get my drift. I find it hard just to wake up each morning and find out any update. But I have to remind myself that jenny is going through a lot worse. Fifty times worse.


Ok to answer everyones questions.....jenny's colon has ripped which is part of her intestines. Not her bowel like we thought at first. Its her colon. It has ripped in a spot they can not get to. They can not make another incision and cut into her stomach. She is burnt to badly where the skin is still healing and won't be able to sew back together, also her abdominal wall is too weak. Also her body has done what it can to protect itself. Her organs have hardened some to protect them from further damage. So that makes it impossible for them to move her organs to fix something else. Because of where the tear is and because of how her body is this makes it impossible for the surgeons to fix the tear. So they have put in two two things that are suctioning the bile as it drains from t

the tear in her colon. They are doing surgery every other day to clean her inside and Clean what the suctions missed. They are also seeing if the hole gets smaller, bigger or if her colon rips at another spot. She is not able to eat nor drink and have put in a pic line to feed her fluids and the nutrients she needs.

So that is what is going on right now. But unlike before she is awake and completely coherent for it all. I just can't believe this has all happened. This is horrible. To sit here and watch what this is doing to each member of my family including jenny has been hard. I feel like I absorb everyone Else's feelings and stresses around me. I know everyone is worried about jenny. I am too. I apologize for being distant and not as informing as I have been. I am going to try to update this every day.

jenny angels window stickers have come in. If you want one let me know. They are ten dollars. All money will go into her benefit fund.

To send jen a e greeting go to memorial Hermann's site click on patients tab. Enter her name. She is in room 333 in smicu. She is at the hospital in the medical center.

overwhelmed

I am overwhelemed with all of this. I am angry this has all happened to my family. So angry. Jenny has had to go through so much. Yesterday she had surgery. Her colon was out of her stomach wound and ripped. They were not able to get to the tear bc it is on the bottom. They put two suctions in to drain the bile leaking. They are hoping that will cause the tear to suction and close. Its a very small chance. Like 1%. If not they will have to figure something else out. They have had to put another pic line in to feed her that way. She isn't aloud to eat or drink anything. They aren't sure for how long. Today her drainage bag inside her started leaking. All of this is so frustrating. I have a hard time going to her room bc it makes me have flash backs of the first night she was here. I am ready for this to be over. I can't stand to sit back and watch her go through this any longer. Its killing me.

Jenny is needing prayers

I know it has been a while since I've updated everyone. I am sorry. i have just had a lot going on with the holidays and everything.


Jenny has been moved from the Triumph hospital back to memorial hermann. She is in ICU. She went for a visit to memorial Hermann on Thursday. The Dr.s said her wound was not being taken care of like it was supposed to be. They had to peel the scab off and start over. Then on Thursday night she was trying to use the restroom and something popped out and started bleeding really bad. They transferred her to memorial Hermann yesterday. Turns out it was her bowel that had popped out. It is swollen and if it swells anymore it will bust. If it busts there is nothing they can do and she'll die. The Dr's said that there is a 90% chance it will bust.

This is so hard for me to grasp. She has been doing so well. She is awake and talks. Friday Talan got to see her at the Triumph hospital before they moved her. It was an emotional encounter. I have been afraid for Talan to see her and be scared. Or say things that might bother her. But her went in there and gave her a kiss, and talked to her like she is the same jenny she has always been. She does look different and her arm does look bad. It touched me heart that my son can understand something so complex. It's like no matter what she looked like he would've still acted the same. I was very proud of him. He understands that she was in a wreck, and has BO Bo's on her face. He was so sweet. He asked her if she felt better. He told her when she gets better and gets out of bed he wants to play baseball with her. I stood back and watched...and cried. It lifted her spirits to see him. And he was so excited he got to see his aunt Jenny. At first she was feeling anxious about the move, and everyone coming in and out. But then I think she realized she wanted to see him. That must have been tough on her. She hasn't picked up a mirror since she woke up. She doesnt want to. I think she is scared. So for her to open up and let someone ,especially who might say things that could hurt her feelings, in to see her was a big risk for her. I didn't know if I was ok with him seeing her for both him and her, but I am glad he got to. I am surprised he was ok with getting that close and giving her multiple kisses. Like I said I am proud of him.


But right now Jenny is fighting a battle. She needs all of us to be praying for her, for her strength, peace, and for god to take over and heal her. For the doctors to have the knowledge and equipment, for her family to have peace and strength to be there for her, and for her to have the energy to beat this. Everyone please pray for jenny. she is needing it right now.

I will keep everyone updated. We are waiting to hear from the doctor and his team.