Tuesday, November 3, 2009

an update

They are trying to take Jen off the ventilator because they need to take the tube out. One reason is because of her infection. It only makes it worse. Right now its not breathing for her. She is taking her own breaths but it is pushing clean air into her lungs. She can't breathe enough in yet. She is at 50%. Which is great news. The downside is that she is starting to feel pain. She is moving like she is uncomfortable. I knew it would be harder on me when she starts to wake up than now because I don't want to know she is in pain. I don't want to see her cry. I don't want to see her go through this at all!!! But she is moving or jerking whatever you want to call it. Each jerk she made I swear it stabbed through me like a knife and breaks me heart! I have been emotional of course but I honestly don't know if I am strong to do this. How the hell are you supposed to sit there and watch someone you care so much about hurt beyond belief and not be able to do anything to help besides comforting words? It isn't enough! I feel helpless. I don't have what it takes to make it better. Friday they are doing her first skin graph. They are going to take it from her thigh and its going to be graphed to her left arm which is the worst spot. It will take 5 days for her thigh to grow that layer of skin back. Then they will take from that same spot and do it all over. Her bladder is doing great! In fact there is no blood what so ever in her urine. So tomorrow they are taking the tube out that was draining from it. We have jumped so many hurdles already but I know we are about to face mountains. I am trying to hold myself together because everyone else is so upset. Mom refuses to leave. She will barely leave to eat. And when we do eat she doesn't even eat half. Not that I blame her we all have lost our appetites. So the next two things they need to do to start the recovery process is to get her breathing on her own and make sure her body can fight this infection. I must admit that it is so hard to go about my every day life. Obviously I have to work especially since just going down to the hospital is costing us a lot of money each day. But all I think about when I am there is Jen. So many things run through my mind. I can't focus. When I'm home I feel like I should be there. I want to just put life on the back burner and pick it up when things are better. Its crazy how one night can change your life forever. Anyways if you want to send Jen a letter but can't get to the hospital you can go to memorial Herman's website and there is a link to send patients letters. Her room is 829. Mom is reading each letter to her and putting them up in her room! Also you can donate blood at the gulf cost blood center in jenny name. Thanks for every ones support. She is going to need it because I don't know if I am strong enough for her! I will keep everyone updated!

4 comments:

Karla Carter said...

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; he shall never permit the righteous to be moved. — Psalm 55:22

Another thought - We're not as strong as we think we are, but God is stronger than we think.

You and our precious Jenny are in our thoughts and prayers! Take it one day, and one struggle, at a time. Otherwise it will overwhelm you. Big Hugs from the Carter family.

Anonymous said...

Romans 8:31b If God is for us, who can be against us?

Hello. My name is Monroe Yearby and I worked with Jenny for a short time. The thing I love most about Jenny is that I could always count on her to fuel my day. She has so much energy. I fed of her smile and her hello every morning. Her energy is contagious. I am apart of a prayer group who believes in the power of prayer. We will remember her name daily until her body is healed.

Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

University of Phoenix said...

On behalf of University of Phoenix, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.

We have set up an account at all the Gulf Coast Blood Centers around the Houston Area. If you would like to donate blood, you will enter the code: J997FS18 and the blood will go straight to Jenny. Starting Monday, November 9, Jenny's picture and story will be posted at all of the centers around Houston to help generate donations.

Let us know if you need anything!

Adrienne Barber said...

My heart breaks for you when I read this and I want you to know that I am praying for strength for you, your family, and Jenny. Believe that there is a reason for this and that every struggle that one goes through makes life so much greater in the good times. I can't wait for the good times to come for your family and am extremely sorry for all the hurt you are going through. Stay strong, but know that it is ok to feel week and helpless. Believe.