Feeling a little down in the dumps

Yesterday Jen had a skin graph done on her arm by the plastic surgeon. The nurse told mom that when she got back from surgery she was doing all of her dressings. The nurse said she was talking to Jenny to calm her down a little bit, since she was actually awake. I guess usually she's still asleep when she comes back from surgery. The nurse was talking to Jen about Lady Ga Ga (a famous pop singer). I have torn out every picture I find in magazines and put them in her room for her. The nurse was asking Jen if she liked her. Jen shook her head. The nurse told mom that it seems to relax her a little when she talks to her. That doesn't surprise me at all. Jenny loves to talk. She is going to be a really good listener by the time this is all over. lol. By the time mom got in there she was asleep from her pain medicine. Today she had another cleaning of her stomach. When mom went in there today she was having to have more blood, and she was just looking pale and like she didn't feel to well. It's almost been a week since I've seen her. I can't wait to get up there this weekend. I hope since she doesn't have any surgery that she will be awake. She missed the snow today. Mom said that it snowed a lot by the hospital. Well a lot for us.

I can't imagine what mom is feeling right now, because I'm completely exhausted. I am just drained emotionally from everything. But on a good note, The University of Phoenix's public relations lady contacted me yesterday. They want to send a letter to all of the students Jenny enrolled informing them of what Jenny is going through. They want to help raise money for her recovery. They also want to tell her story to some of the news papers asking their help too. This is great news for Jenny. She is going to need a lot of physical therapy, and some plastic surgery. She is going to need a lot of physical therapy to basically learn how to do everything again. She has been in bed so long, I can't imagine what walking is going to be like. Her brain was in "sleep mode" for so long, just getting those essential motor skills back is going to require some time and probably help. Her left arm is going to need a lot of therapy because of it's injuries. I don't know if everyone realizes how hard every day things are going to be for her because of the injuries her stomach has. When I had Talan I had a c-section. It hurt to get out of bed so bad after that. And to just sit hurt unbearable, because you use your stomach muscles to help you ease down. You use those muscles to use the restroom, to laugh, to cough, to sneeze, to lift anything, to bend over, basically to do everything. The worst was laughing. The first time I laughed I literally cried. Having a c-section is nothing compared to what she has had. That is going to be the hardest injury she has to recovery from. I just can't imagine right now. I wish I could take her pain and transfer it to me. Or if everyone could just split it up between us all. That would be so awesome. I honestly feel that being in pain would be easier than seeing her in pain, especially the emotional pain I know is just around the corner. I feel in my heart I just need to be there with her right now. I don't feel there is anything else right now I should be doing besides being there with her and mom. Honestly I am not excited for Christmas this year at all. I am not ready to celebrate this family holiday in a hotel, while Jenny is in the hospital, and be in such a good mood. I want to just postpone it. Maybe we can just leave our Christmas lights up, skip Christmas. We'll just keep telling Talan it's almost Christmas time, and then when she gets out we'll have Christmas. We'll leave the tree up and the presents up. How is it possible to celebrate Christmas in a situation like this? It's not fair, I don't want to do it, and I'm not excited it's just around the corner. The only reason we can't postpone it Talan. I know it's not fair to him, he's too little to understand. But it just isn't going to feel right. I'm going to have to wrap presents by myself this year I haven't had to do that in over four years. She's my wrapping Buddy.